Lyrics for Loved Ones

Not too long ago selecting music for a loved one’s funeral meant choosing a few hymns from a short list provided by a funeral director. But now the possibilities are endless and the choices much more complicated.

Of course, traditional hymns are still available if that’s the music that most reflects your loved one’s wishes or personality, but you can also choose from  Contemporary Christian music, Country, Rock or Instrumental, Classical and Jazz.

Popular selections for modern funerals even include Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” or “Freebird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd as well as “Blackbird” by the Beatles and “My Way” by Frank Sinatra. “My Way” and “Wings Beneath my Wings” by Bette Midler have been favorite choices for many years, according to funeral experts.

In fact, “My Way” might be the most used funeral song of all time, according to FuneralBasics.org, which calls Sinatra’s anthem “a celebration of life well lived, a testament to the power of the individual and the impact that he or she can have on the world.” The song is a “fitting tribute to a loved one who embraced life to the fullest and faced ‘the final curtain’ with dignity,” according to the funeral planning website.

Don’t forget to consult with the funeral director on what may or may not be possible in your specific venue and include clergy members so no one is uncomfortable with your choices.

Most experts anticipate using only two or three pieces of music during an average funeral service so the music you select should be meaningful and important and help set the tone of the service. The planners at FuneralWise.com suggest selecting music that might have a special meaning to the person being honored. If you’re unsure, ask family members and friends if they know of songs that held special meaning to your loved one. They could have suggestions you didn’t think about during this stressful and emotional time.

Even if the selection is not something ordinarily associated with a funeral, the only question is whether it honors and respects the deceased. If a song is selected that might leave mourners wondering why it was chosen, ask the officiant to explain the upcoming piece was a favorite of the deceased.

Be sure to listen to the songs and read the lyrics before making a final decision. Sometimes lyrics can be surprising when read in entirety.

If all the possibilities leave you a little confused, a helpful website is LoveLivesOn.com, which lists musical categories, allows you to hear the song and read the lyrics. It also allows you to purchase a recording that can be played during the service. The selections include about 200 songs among the following categories.

  • Popular Funeral Songs
  • Classic Rock Funeral Songs
  • Alternative Funeral Songs
  • Sentimental Funeral Songs
  • Love Funeral Songs
  • Funeral Songs For Young Death
  • Funeral Songs For Death Of Parent
  • Religious Funeral Songs
  • Funeral Songs For Pregnancy Loss
  • Golden Oldies’ Funeral Songs
  • African Funeral Songs
  • Funeral Songs For Death Of Spouse
  • Funeral Songs By Up & Coming Artists

Instead of a recording, the voice of a special family friend or family member can be a comforting touch to mourners and be a beautiful tribute to the deceased. Fully discuss the idea with a prospective singer, though. Even the most seasoned performer might break down during a tribute to a loved one and both of you need to be confident that the service will proceed as planned.

If you’re still having trouble finding just the right piece of music to express your love and respect for the deceased,  US Urns maintains a blog at Usurnsonline.com that contains hundreds of articles on funeral planning and resources. The blog includes a nice section on music that categorizes the songs by both theme (happy, uplifting, sad or funny) and person (mom, dad, grandparents, spouse, children).

Again, the only rule is to follow your heart in honoring and respecting your deceased loved one. Music evokes so many powerful emotions and also creates memories that last a lifetime. Legacy through lyrics is a beautiful way to pay tribute to those who have passed.